Chris How | Blog | Ça va pas la tête

There is much in the British media concerning the falling standards in the usage of English. Instead of looking to blame the teachers, I say lets look toward one of the most pervasive culprits; the shop sign-writer. 

If you are a sign-writer, how much of a business expense is it to buy a dictionary and a copy of ‘The Elements of Style’ by Strunk and White? How difficult is it to add punctuation to a shop sign in the correct place?

The flagrant misuse of English makes me grimace, laugh and often loudly tut (I know, I get that upset about it). At the weekend it made me go a step further. It forced me to stop and photograph the front of a shop. The sign for Aladdins’ [sic] cave throws up not one, but two errant apostrophes.

As far as I remember in the Arabian Nights there was only one Aladdin. Therefore if the cave belongs to him a simple possessive apostrophe is all that is required i.e. Aladdin’s cave. That doesn’t however answer who the CD’s [sic] belong to.

Outside of the punctuation issue I am left wondering if the shop-owner really means Ali Baba’s cave. To be pedantic, in the Arabian Nights, the treasure in the cave which Aladdin ventures into is cursed, so nobody can touch it and live. Therefore not the best idea for any retail store. It is instead the cave in the Ali Baba story that is full of sparkling treasure. In France the colloquial phrase for a place of wondrous objects is "la caverne d’Ali Baba". It seems the confusion in Britain arises from too much belief being placed on the literary accuracy of the Disney movie of Aladdin.

It’s not just misplaced apostrophes that irks me, but also missing ones. Everyday driving out of Brighton I pass Johns camping and everyday I want to add an apostrophe into the sign. What was the sign-writer thinking? Or am I doing them a disservice? Are shopkeepers charged per brushstroke and they are just saving money by removing the punctuation?

It so infuriates me I’m off to picket my MP to make correct punctuation part of gaining planning permission. I’m also going to ask for this law to be retrospective in order to score a further advantage of closing businesses with grammatically incorrect signage. This would help rid our high streets of the unremitting onslaught from McDonald’s and Starbucks. The former being started by brothers Dick and Mac McDonald so should have signage reading McDonalds’. The latter named after a character in Moby Dick so should be Starbuck’s.

In the few weeks before the law is inevitably changed I’m consoling myself with the solidarity shared in the atrocious apostrophes group on flickr.

Tags: appalling apostropohes, grammar, langauage, shop signs

This entry was posted on March 16, 2009 at 2:35 pm and is filed under language. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.